When I saw this post at Bridalwave, I knew I was going to have to comment sooner or later! The Bridalwave post was in reference to this post, which asks why we’re still treating online dating like it’s some new, “mysterious” idea. I absolutely concur.
Really, all of this is just an excuse for me to tell the story of how I met my FH, so sit back and enjoy the ride!
I had my first taste of online dating when it was actually mysterious and new…back in 1997. And y’know what? I don’t even have any terrible horror stories. I emailed a bunch of guys. I met a few of them. Mostly, they were perfectly nice, and we just didn’t click.
I didn’t discover anyone who was married or engaged. No one lied to me about what they looked like (or anything else, that I know of). No one stalked me. In fact, there was nothing even remotely remarkable about it.
A few years later, I met my ex (whom I typically refer to as X) in a more usual way. He was a friend of a friend, and we met at a bar. We were together for not quite three years before that relationship ended on a most unpleasant note.
Trying desperately to get that bitter taste out of my mouth, I plunged…no, I cannonballed back into the dating pool. I figured the quickest and most painless way to do that was the online dating sites.
I joined match.com and yahoo! personals, and I even suffered through the eHarmony process for a trial membership (that did not go well for me. But that’s a story for another time…). Again, I met a lot of guys. I met a lot of nice, intelligent men and had a lot of fun, but still, none of them worked out. No spark. After months of this, I took a bit of a hiatus.
Up to this point, I’d been letting the guys come to me. I responded to people who contacted me, but I wasn’t very proactive about looking. Also, I’d been able to get around paying for memberships…people had started to learn how to trick the dating site bots and get around the “no posting your real email address in a message.” I figured if someone intrigued me enough and I couldn’t contact him otherwise, I’d pay the $24.99 (or whatever) for a one-month membership.
After my hiatus, I decided not to wait around. I did a search for men in my geographic region, and I found one that intrigued me. I wish I had a better photo, but the photo he’d posted in his profile was the same one as his flickr icon. Hmmm…a musician. Okay, tell me more. 😉
Remarkably, when I read his profile, I found him to be more literate than most men online (I’m admittedly a snob when it comes to thinks like spelling and grammar. Hey, I’m an English teacher!) as well as smart, witty, well-read and creative. And then, there was the thing that pushed me right over the edge–he listed Ron Hawkins as one of his favorite musicians! I knew he was the real thing because he said Ron Hawkins and not Lowest of the Low–the Toronto band he’d fronted that was very popular here in Buffalo.
Like I said, I didn’t have a membership, but I sent a “wink” or “flirt” or “icebreaker,” whichever one was the appropriate choice for yahoo, the site I was on at the time.
He responded almost immediately and included his email address in the reply. Score! We exchanged several “getting to know you” messsages over the next few days, and quickly decided we wanted to meet. One phone conversation and a couple of days later, we met for drinks and darts at a local pub. We went out to dinner about a week later…and the rest, as they say, is history! 🙂
I hope that was worth sitting through… 😉
Here’s a picture of us from fairly early on in our relationship…this was the day Rand met my parents!